So after I moved to the dream center and my laptop was stolen from my room, I lost my kids to the DCFS due to their arrogance deciding I had bi-polar disorder when in fact I don't. And now trying to prove them otherwise, I have gotten my GED and started college at LACC. Taking Chinese classes and Guitar lessons and other classes to help me with getting 2 AA degrees: one in music and the other in language arts. Ultimately leading up to a major in music education to be a music teacher...mostly in a foreign country. I have grown to hate the bureaucracy that governs the rich while shitting in the faces of the poor. I wish I had never left China after how I was treated after coming back to America. My husband is still an asshole who could care less for me, my kids want to come home to me, and I want my kids back so we can leave. True I don't feel like going back to him, but maybe I can establish a life without him successfully.
The lies I had to endure and disprove just to get my life on track makes the physical abuse I suffered in China look like pin pricks on my body. I don't hate or feel vengeful, that's God's job not mine. I have gone through some dating fiascoes and failed one relationship with a friend...one of my rules being that I don't date friends because when it ends wrong you loose a friend. But now I am dating another friend, who incidentally has gone through his own fiascoes in love and is not about to let this relationship fail like the others and he is stable in mind and goals. We have lots in common and we both have a love of music and computers. we are both parents separated by asses and shit we never imagined.
He has a good personality with anger issues due to his past, but so do I.
After loosing the kids I became homeless, going to school and being homeless is not a situation anyone could go through no matter how strong they are, but we seem to be able to do it. He used to be involved in drugs, but he decided to get clean and fix his life. And I am determined to keep him clean; staying side by side except in class, as we both have different but similar classes. I am determined to be a music teacher and Stefan wants to be a website developer with a focus on the graphics art. I am still upset about loosing my laptop with all the pictures of the kids growing up now lost forever, but I will get a new one-one day.
Last week another homeless woman who has dogged me for 3 months over her lost cat had once again faced me with accusation's of stealing her cat even though I live out of a backpack and go to school everyday. She kicked in my tent while I was asleep and woke me up, I ran out of the tent and over to her punching her in the eye and giving her a shiner. She now leaves me alone and has not said anything in two weeks about the cat that got killed by a skunk but her drug induced dementia has produced a psychosis and makes her whack.
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Thoughts on Adrenaline
12 years ago
